(Link to Admiral McRaven’s speech)

We each make a significant impact on the people we encounter every day, often more so than we realize. As Admiral McRaven continues his speech, he reminds us of the magnitude of every single choice we make, because those choices profoundly impact others — and there is a ripple effect that follows.

It is often the seemingly small choices that have a far greater impact than we recognize — from the way we choose to handle a difficult situation, to the way we write an email, to the way we interact with our colleagues in the elevator, to the way we show up in a meeting and much more. Every micro-behavior, every word choice, every interaction we have, our ability/willingness to listen to others, the way we handle pressure, the way we provide feedback, the way we handle tension on our teams — every single thing we do and say, don’t do and don’t say has a profound impact on others. And that impact multiplies and spreads well beyond our immediate vision.

Understanding and recognizing the impact we have on others is a distinct reminder about our inherent power. We have the power to influence great change, and that change can drive our business… or impede it. As we well know from Spider-Man, with great power comes great responsibility!

Sometimes leaders inspire others to problem solve, innovate, and create. Other times they stifle creativity and innovation by tending to their own egos.

Sometimes leaders motivate, encourage, support and cheer on others, and other times they unintentionally demoralize, discourage, and rock someone’s confidence.

Sometimes leaders foster trust with vulnerability and transparency. Other times they mistakenly breed distrust and lack of connection by acting inauthentically.

How you lead is the #1 most important factor in driving (or derailing) the success of your business. It is also the ONE factor you can completely control!

As we acknowledge the power and scale of our ability to impact others, it is important to understand that our thoughts and all that goes on in our minds (there’s a lot!) are what drive and shape how we show up and behave in every encounter. Seemingly involuntary word choices, mannerisms, and facial expressions are not “out of our control,” but rather controlled and driven by our thoughts — both conscious and unconscious thoughts.

Let me illuminate this idea for you. Think about some recent meetings you’ve attended…

• Are you the leader in the room? The one with the most power? Or are you the most junior?

• Are you the only woman? The only person of color? The shortest? The tallest? The newest to the team?

• Are you trying to make sure you’re heard? Or will be chosen to be part of the core team on that high profile project?

• Are you worried you might say the wrong thing?

• Are you trying to make sure it’s clear to everyone that you’re in charge?

• Are you trying to make sure they know you’re smart?

• Are you thinking that what that other person just said was realllly dumb?

• Are you thinking that you need to shut down what he just said because it could derail the entire project?

• Are you worried about what kind of impression you are making?

• Are you wondering if anyone can tell that you don’t follow or understand all the lingo being used? Especially the acronyms?

• Are you thinking, “Why am I even in this meeting, it is SUCH a waste of my time?”

• Are you wishing you could lead this project because the person leading it now is not managing it well?

We all have had thoughts like these. And every single one of these thoughts affects how we show up and present ourselves — what we say, how we say it, the looks on our faces, the enthusiasm (or lack of it) in our voices, the dismissiveness or the anger or the openness we exhibit, the words we choose or don’t choose.

Our thoughts and our mindset drive our behaviors.